Books I Finished In 2023
The book I finished in 2023 with notes.
The Simple Path to Wealth: Your Road Map to Financial Independence and a Rich, Free Life
- The market always goes up.
- Investment portfolio:
- Stocks (VTSAX) + bonds (VBTLX) + cash, or
- Target Retirement Fund (TRF): fund of funds
My Life in Full: Work, Family, and Our Future
- “If I feel that I can help make something better, then I cannot stop myself from jumping in. I have deep sense of duty and find it very hard to say no.” I always have the same feelings.
- The And-But phenomenon. When writing evaluation for a man, people tend to write “XXX, and [details about this man’s terrific future]”. When writing reviews for a woman, people tend to write “XXX, but [details about some issue or personality problem]”.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
- The way we see things is the source of the way we think and the way we act. The way we see things is often a product of the things we seek or our deeper motivations.
- A “paradigm shift” experience:
- Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities. Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported, “Light, bearing on the starboard bow.” “Is it steady or moving astern?” the captain called out. Lookout replied, “Steady, captain,” which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship. The captain then called to the signalman, “Signal that ship: We are on a collision course, advise you change course 20 degrees.” Back came a signal, “Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees.” The captain said, “Send, I’m a captain, change course 20 degrees.” “I’m a seaman second class,” came the reply. “You had better change course 20 degrees.” By that time, the captain was furious. He spat out, “Send, I’m a battleship. Change course 20 degrees.” Back came the flashing light, “I’m a lighthouse.” We changed course.
- The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein
- Happiness is the desire and ability to sacrifice what we want now for what we want eventually.
- Interdependent is the choice only independent people can make.
- Eternal student syndrome: someone who tries to avoid getting a job by taking more educational courses. It can also refer to a lack of prioritization.
- Nothing can hurt me, no one can hurt me without my consent.
- Anytime we think the problem is out that with others or in circumstances, that very thought itself is the problem. Because we empower what’s out there to continue to control us.
- Measure twice, cut once. Jayme Cox gave me this feedback after my ZooKeeper migrations caused serval high severity incidents.
- Management is doing things right, leadership is doing the right things.
- E.M. Gray, the author of “The Common Denominator of Success”, found that the one denominator all successful people share wasn’t hard work, good luck, or astute human relations, though those were all important. The one factor that seemed to transcend all the rest embodies the essence of Habit #3 - Putting First Things First. The successful person has the habit of doing the things failors don’t like to do. They don’t like doing them either, necessarily, but their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.
- Time management matrix quadrant 2 - Not urgent, but important things. Everyone of the 7 habits lies in quadrant 2. Everyone of the 7 habits deals with fundamentally important things that if done under regular basis would make a tremendous positive difference in our lives. Like working out and reading, I’ve been working out for 8 years and reading for 2 years, I will keep doing them.
- Pareto principle (80/20 rule): 80 percent of results flow out of 20 percent of activities.
- Stewardship delegation: Focus on results instead of methods. It gives people a choice of method and make them responsible for results. It takes more time in the beginning, but the time is well invested.
- One of the most important way to manifest of integrity is to be loyal to those who are not present. In doing so, we build the trust of those who are present. When you defense those who are absent, you retain the trust of those present.
- It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses. You’d better have a deep meaningful relationship with your spouse, with your own kids, with your closest working associates, instead of devoting lots of time to the people and projects out there.
- If you cannot reach a true win-win, you are very often better off to go for no deal. Win-win or no deal provides tremendous emotional freedom in the family relationship as well. If family members cannot agree on the video that everyone will enjoy, they can simply decide to so something else, no deal, rather than having someone enjoy the evening and expense others.
- Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is the key to effective inter-personal communication.
- If you don’t have confidence in the diagnosis, you won’t have confidence in the prescription.
- Four Autobiographical Responses. Can’t wait to have conversations with my daughtor with reflect feeling.
- Whenever we deal with differences, value others perspectives, and try to understand.
- Having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, spritual, mental, and social/emotional.
No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
- FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.
- Be less passion about your job does’t mean stop caring about work. It means care more about yourself. It means carve out time for the people your love, for exercise, and for guilt-free vacation.
- The physcial experience of stress or anxiety, a faster heart beat and higher levels of stress hormones, is almost identical to our body’s response to excitement. People who take the advantage of this similarity by reframing their stress as excitement (for example, by saying “I am excited” out loud) perform better. The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.
- When you’re upset, it feels good to run to someone in your support network, the group of people who will immediately take your side. But if you talk to only these people, you sabotage your ability to learn from or fix the problem. Make sure you also confide in your challenge network, the people who will tell you the hard truths and push you to resolve the issue.
- The easiest way to feel better is to complete the thing that is stressing you out. Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.
- If you’re asking for more money (either for your starting salary in a new job or for a raise at your existing job), try this magic line: “I don’t want my salary to be a distraction to me while I’m in this role.” By saying you don’t want your salary to be a distraction (i.e., distractingly low), you are stating a fact that both you and the other person believe to be true. You are having empathy for both yourself and the other party. They also don’t want you to be distracted.
- BlackRock uses a number of icebreakers when starting conversations. One has employees split into pairs and answer the prompt, “When you think of your childhood, what meal comes to mind and why?” This disarming question sets the stage for more disclosure later. “No one just says pizza,” explains managing director Jonathan McBride. “Instead, they give you a story about their family, their culture and upbringing, and weekly traditions with their parents or grandparents. Even though you’re discussing food, you get a story about someone’s life and family that you wouldn’t normally get in five minutes.”
- If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, both are useless.
- Conduct premortems. Set aside half an hour at the outset of a project and have team members list everything they fear might go wrong. This allows the team to fully understand and address potential risks.
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
- Extroverted leaders enhance group performance when employees are passive, but the introverted leaders are more effective with proactive employees.
- Introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations.
- The high-reactive infants are more likely to have developed serious careful personalities, the low-reactive infants, the quiet ones, are more likely to have become relaxed and confident types. High and low reactivity tend to be related to introversion and extroversion.
- We can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead. A sizable part of who we are is all ordained by our genes, by our brains, by our nervous systems. Yet the elasticity that found in some high-reactive teens also suggests the converse: we have free will, and can use it to shape our personalities. These seem like contradictory principles, but they are not. Free will can take us far, but cannot carry us infinitely beyond our genetic limits. We might call this the “rubber band theory” of personality: we are like rubber bands at rest, we are elastic and can stretch ourselves, but only so much.
- Introverts who are specially good at acting like extroverts (pseudo-extroversion skills) tend to score high for a trait that psychologists called “self monitoring”. Self-monitors are highly skilled at modifying their behavior to the social demands of a situation. When in Rome, they do as what Romans do. As an introvert, I’d like to become an self-monitor.
- If introverts and extroverts are the north and south of the temperament, opposite in a single spectrum, then how can they possibly get alone. Yet the two types are often drawn to each other, in friendship, business, and especially romance. These pairs can enjor great excitment and mutually admiration, a sense that each completes the other, one tends to listen, the other to talk. But it can also cause problems when members of these unions pull in opposite directions.
- Some thoughts for parents: if you are lucky enough to have control over where your child goes to school, you can look for school that
- praises independent interests and ephamsizes autonomy
- conducts group activities in moderation in a small carefully-managed groups
- values kindness, caring, empathy, good citizenship
- insists on orderly classrooms and hallways is organized in a small quiet classes
- chooses teachers who seem to understand the shy series introverted sensitive temperment
- focuses its academic, atheletic, extracurricular activities on subjects that are particularily interesting to your child
- strongly enforces an anti-bulling program
- emphsizes a tolerant, down-to-earth culture
- attracts like-minded peers, for example, intellectual kids, or artist or atheletic ones, depending on your child’s preferences
- Rule of thumb for networking events: one new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistful of business cards. Respect your loved ones’ need for socializing, and your own for solitude.
Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…and Maybe the World
- If you make your bed every morning, you’ve have accomplished the first task in the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will turn into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little thing in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And if by any chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made, that you made. And a made bed gives you an encouragement that tomorrow will be better. If you want to change the world, start of by making your bed. It is the same idea as a Chinese ancient saying “一屋不扫，何以扫天下”.
- Prove me wrong. SEAL training is always about proving something. Proving that the size didn’t matter. Proving that the color of your skin wasn’t important. Proving that money didn’t make you better. Proving that the determination and grit is always more important than talent.
- A “sugar cookie” is a punishment given to Navy SEAL trainees who fail a uniform inspection. The punishment involves running into the water, getting wet from head to toe, and rolling around in the sand until covered in sand. The trainee must stay in their uniform the rest of the day, cold, wet, and sandy.
- A circus is two hours of additional calisthenics designed to wear you down, to break your spirit, to force you to quit. Those students who did two hours of extra calisthenics got stronger and stronger. The paying of circuses built inner strength and physical resiliency. Life is filled of circuses. You will fail. You will likely fail often. It will be painful. It will be discouraging. At time it will test you to your very core. If you want to change the world, don’t be afraid for circuses.
- Highly recommend this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxBQLFLei70&ab_channel=TexasExes, which covers most of the content in the book. I promise you will not regret spending 20 minutes watching this video.
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