Books I Finished In 2025
Books I finished in 2025 with notes.
Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI
- AI is a co-intelligence that can emulate how we think and write, and potentially improve or replace our work.
- Telling the system who it is changes results. Because that gives the system a perspective. Telling it to act like a teacher of MBA students will result in a different output than if you ask it to act like a circus clown. However, tshis isn’t magical. You can’t say act like Bill Gates and get better business advice, but it can help make the tone and direction appropriate for your response.
- At first, the students gave simple and vague prompts, resulting in mediocre essays. But as they tried different strategies, the quality of the AI’s output improved significantly. One very effective strategy that emerged from class was treating the AI as a co-editor, engaging in back and forth conversational process. Students produced impressive essays that far exceeded their initial attempts by because they were fighting and reiterating.
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The push-button draft is tempting, but it can anchor thinking and reduce originality and depth. If you work interactively with the AI, the outcome doesn’t feel generic, it feels like a human did it. That said, it would be naive to see only upside here, especially as AI work becomes easy to generate at the push of a button. I mean that literally, as every major office application and email client will include a button to help you create a draft for your work. It deserves capital letters. THE BUTTON.
When faced with the tyranny of the blank page, people are going to push the button. It is so much easier to start with something than nothing. Students are going to use it to start essays. Managers will use it to start emails, reports, or documents. Teachers will use it when providing feedback. Scientists will use it to write grants. Concept artists will use it for the first draft. Everyone is going to use the button. The implications of having AI write our first drafts, even if we do the work ourselves, which is not a given, are huge. One consequence is that we could lose our creativity and originality. When we use AI to generate our first drafts, we tend to anchor on the first idea that the machine produces, which influences our future work. Even if we rewrite the drafts completely, they will still be tainted by the AI’s influence. We will not be able to explore different perspectives and alternatives, which could lead to better solutions and insights. Another consequence is that we could reduce the quality and depth of our thinking and reasoning. When we use AI to generate our first drafts, we don’t have to think as hard or as deeply about what we write. We rely on the machine to do the hard work of analysis and synthesis, and we don’t engage in critical reflection.
HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Mental Toughness: HBR’s 10 Must Reads Series
- Happiness is not a function of your circumstances, it’s a function of your outlook on life.
Locked In: The Will to Survive and the Resolve to Live
- I keep staring at her. She sees me and I see her. Victoria, I keep my focus locked in. If you can hear me blink twice. Blink, come on Victoria, one more. Blink, over and over again. And that little thing we take for granted that everyone has done many times while reading this book became my lifeline. Suddenly, I had a way to communicate. One blink for yes, two blinks for no. Instantly, my mommy bursts into tears of joy. The weight of the world was lifted from her back and it is undoubtedly the single most powerful moment I’ve ever shared with anyone. Victoria is in there. That was the moment of relief for my family. Finally, they knew that I was still there. Although horrified that I was locked in, they were so happy that I was responsive. My world has opened up in the simplest of ways and I couldn’t be happier. For most people, blinking isn’t a big deal or relevant, but for me, it is my passport back into the world of the living and to let everyone know I am still here.
- It’s okay sometimes to sink a little bit. You just have to keep yourself from getting too far down. Keep moving even if it’s not as strongly as you’d like it to be. Just keep swimming. Swimming is a sport of constant movement. Whether it’s the Olympics or the lake or swimming to stay alive, they all have the same theme, constant movement. The minute you stop moving is when you sink or lose, drown or drift away.
The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain
- Attention is happening every second. In fact, we choose to utilise it ourselves sometimes when we close our eyes to try to remember something specific, or put our hands over our ears if we are trying to concentrate hard. Understanding and accepting that we are all blocking huge amounts of information, and of course very much choosing to focus on other information, is crucial to the power of manifestation. It’s a powerful reason to take charge of what you pay attention to and what you don’t.
- When we visualise a particular event or situation in advance, we essentially trick our brain into thinking that it is already familiar with the event or challenge that we are visualising, so it becomes less mistrustful, moving towards the abundant mindset that allows us to take considered risks and seize opportunities.
The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
- The truth is other people hold no real power over you unless you give it to them. Here’s why this works. When you stop trying to control things that aren’t yours to control, you stop wasting your energy and you reclaim your time, and your piece of mind and your focus. And you realize that your happiness is actually tie to your actions, not to someone’s behavior, opionions or mood.
- Feeling in control, that’s what makes you feel comfortable and safe. So naturally, you just try to control everyone and everything around you, oftentimes without even realizing it. But what you’re gonna learn is that one thing, you will never be able to control, no matter how hard you try. You will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are ever in control of is you.
- The Let Them theory only works if you say both parts. When you say “let them,” you make a conscious decision to not allow others’ behavior to bother you. When you say “let me,” you take responsibility for what you do next. What I love about “let me” is that it immediately shows you what you can control and there’s always so much you can control. You can control your attitude, your behavior, your values, your needs, your desires, and what you want to do in response to what just happened.
- Why get stressed about things beyond your controller that don’t really matter? Why let something so small have such a large impact on you? When you let the world around you impact your emotional state and peace of mind, you become a prisoner to these external forces. That’s why you feel out of control. That’s why you’re so exhausted because you’re letting trivial nonsense dictate your mood, drain your motivation, and steal your focus.
- Catching your stress response and saying, “Let them.” And then saying, “Let me.” It empowers you to choose what you say, think, and do instead of just allowing the emotion to hijack you. That means no more rage texts or snapping at your loved ones or wasting hours crafting one of those emails that you’re then gonna hit reply all on, complete waste of time to stress you out. The fact is not every email warrants a response and not every conversation needs your participation. And you do not always have to have the last word. In fact, remember your silence can never be misquoted.
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You are not powerless. So how do you use the let them theory to get your boss to give you the promotion you deserve?
You don't.
Let them string you along. I know it’s tough to hear because yeah, it’s true. It’s not fair. You’ve earned the promotion and yeah, you deserve to be angry about it and I would be too. But let me ask you this question. Who is responsible for your career? You or your boss?
That's right, you are.
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If you stay in that job, who controls your future?
Mm-hmm, that's right.
Your boss, Steve.
But if you update your resume and you start networking and you go on some interviews, who’s in control now?
That's right, you.
So you have a choice. You can act like a toddler and call your boss every name in the book. But the harsh truth is, you’re the one to blame. Because you’re choosing to stay in a job that makes you miserable. And that’s on you.
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And this is the same reason why you don’t speak up at meetings at work. You’re afraid to look stupid. Online, you’re afraid to look bad, and at work, you’re afraid to sound bad. Same thing. You’re afraid of what other people will think if they see the real you. And here’s the problem with this. Every time you edit what you post, or you stay silent in class, or at work, or you hide in the back of the group photo, you are engaging in self-rejection. You’re the one telling yourself that you’re not good enough. And this constant questioning and editing and deleting and overthinking and putting on the filters and asking other people, does this look good? It only magnifies your self doubt. And you want to know the crazy part? You’re doing it to yourself. I did too. And most advice on this topic, it sucks.
Most people are gonna tell you, stop caring about what other people think. But no one tells you how. It’s easy to say, don’t give an F. But it’s impossible to do it. It’s time for a new approach. Using the let them theory. You’re gonna learn a revolutionary approach to squashing this fear once and for all. And here it is. Give people the freedom to think negative thoughts about you. It is a radically beautiful idea. And when you let people think negative thoughts about you, it unlocks your confidence. It frees your self expression. And it will lead you into a whole new chapter of you life, your career, your happiness. This is amazing!
- Here’s another truth. Just because someone has a negative opinion doesn’t mean they feel negatively about you as a whole.
- Research shows that most emotions, they’re going to rise up and then they’re going to fall away in about 90 seconds if you don’t react to them. I’m going to say that again because I think this is so important to understand. Research shows that when you have that little chemical explosion that is an emotion, if you We don’t throw gasoline on that chemical fire. That raise of emotion will disappear in 90 seconds if you dont’ react. You will never be able to control your emotions from raising up. Instead of trying to control what yo feel, the better strategy is to learn to work with what you’re feeling.
- It’s just the proximity and timing that makes you lose touch with them, so it’s never too late to reconnect with old friends, and this is completely in your control. “Let them” will help you be flexible, compassionate, and it’s going to allow you to have people come and go in your life. “Let me” will remind you to stop sitting around expecting invitations. It is gonna be you to take the lead to reconnect to your old friends.
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God, that’s exactly what happened. Well, thank God, he was gracious. He invited us in, he even gave us a tour of their house. We met the dogs, Mia came out from another room, she was thrilled we stopped by, we exchanged numbers, and one week later, she and I were walking that very same loop together.
And that was the beginning of turning this part of my life around and learning that adult friendship isn’t something that happens, it’s something you create. And I’m happy to report that from that painful knock on Mia’s door and a hundred other awkward little moments where I was introducing myself to someone at a coffee shop or pulling into a field at a local flower farm to tell the owners that their flowers were incredible, to saying hello to the person next to me at an exercise class, I have been able to slowly, but surely, create my own new little community. And over the course of the year, I started feeling like I not only knew the familiar faces in my small community, but by getting to know them, I found my people. This is why you must focus on the let me part of the let them theory. And a particular habit I’m gonna teach you called going first. What is going first mean? Simple, let me to be the first one to introduce myself, let me to be the first one to …
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And the let them theory is gonna help you take this on. Will some people be a little awkward? Yeah, they will, let them. Will most people be warm and receptive? Yes, let them. Creating friendship really is about the let me part. And here are four simple things that I did that will really help you be the one that goes first.
Number one, compliment people everywhere you go. If you love somebody’s nail color, tell them. If you love their outfit, tell them. If you like their socks, say it. People love to be complimented because they feel seen and appreciated. And it is a full proof way to break the ice with someone without feeling weird.
Second, be curious. Ask people what they’re reading. Ask them what they ordered. People love to talk about themselves. And even if it doesn’t go any further than the person saying, oh yeah, you should order this or thank you. You get points for being the one who goes first.
Third, smile. And say hello to anyone and everyone you pass or meet. Because being warm and approachable as a person, it’s a skill. If you practice it, it becomes a way of life. And when you move through life with a welcoming spirit, life opens up to you.
And forth, do this without expectation.
- Here’s the truth you need to accept. Adults only change when they feel like changing. Human beings have a hard-wired survival instinct to be in control of every aspect of their life. Anytime someone feels like they’re being forced to do something, they will fight back. And you’re going to find yourself locked in a battle for control.
- Struggle is a critical part of the human experience and it’s one of the most necessary elements of someone choosing to get better.
- Let people learn from life. Don’t shield them from the consequences of what they choose.
The High 5 Habit: Take Control of Your Life with One Simple Habit
- I finished this book on the flight to Japan with my wife.
- kids who got a simple high five, they felt the most positive about themselves and their effort, and they kept going for the longest time, despite making mistakes. In fact, the results were so clear that the researchers titled the study High Fives Motivate when they published it in the academic journal Frontiers in Psychology.
- The high-performing teams in work and life are the ones where every team member feels seen, heard, and can trust their teammates. The best teams create what’s called psychological safety. That’s the feeling that other people have your back and will cheer you on, and it makes you more resilient and optimistic.
- Does it have to be in the mirror? Or Mel, can I just high five my hands together in the air? Okay, high fiving your hands together in the air is not a high five, that is an awkward clap. The mirror is required and the science explains why. You’re fusing that positive association that your brain has with a high five with your reflection. This habit is the beginning of a beautiful new partnership you’re building with yourself.
- If you are saying “I screwed up everything.”. You attest to two things. Number one, you’re so powerful that you constantly create only one outcome in your life with no variations, and number two, that the outcome is bad. Now, think about that for a second. You’re so influential and omnipresent, such a force of nature that when you get near something, even something good, it changes into disaster? I have to tell you, this is a very good place to start. You are on to one truth for sure. You are powerful. But you already know that. You see evidence of your power everywhere.
- High five is the easiest and best way to start chipping away at that destructive guilt that’s blocking you from changing your life and give yourself permission to do what makes you happy. Here it is. Stop apologizing. When you feel destructive guilt, you will find yourself saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” an awful lot. Number one, stop saying you’re sorry. And start saying thank you instead.
- There are only two kinds of people out there: people who see obstacles and people who see opportunity.
- There is something meant for you that you will only find when you allow that dream to pull you through your fears. In every dream worth pursuing, the odds are against you, and it doesn’t matter one bit that they are because I know that you would regret for the rest of your life if you played it safe and didn’t go for it, whatever it is. What I’ve learned the hard way is that having the courage to pursue your dream is way more important than actually achieving them.
- I’m safe. I’m okay, I’m loved.
- Big dreams are amazing and you need to have them, but when you manifest nothing but the end result, it doesn’t help you achieve them. Because it seems so far away, it’s demotivating. But manifesting done right will help you make your dreams come true, or at least help you do the work. So neuroscience research on this is super cool because it’s shown that visualization makes it easier to work on your goals and dreams because it changes your Reticular Activating System (RAS) to spot small opportunities that match the picture you created in your mind. But here are some important things: in order to make visualization really help you achieve your goals, you need to visualize yourself doing the hard annoying small steps along the way to reach your dreams so you can mentally rehearse for future behavior, how cool is that. This echos the second point of the The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain.
Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
- I finished this book during the RV trip to LA.
- Apartheid took fathers away in different ways, and women held the community together — “When you strike a woman, you strike a rock.”
- Trevor’s pooping description is pretty impressive. There’s a strange, humbling “magic” to the act of shitting that brings you back down to earth. When you shit, as you first sit down, you’re not fully in the experience yet. You are not yet a shitting person. You’re transitioning from a person about to shit to a person who is shitting. You don’t whip out your smartphone or a newspaper right away. It takes a minute to get the first shit out of the way and get in the zone and get comfortable. Once you reach that moment, that’s when it gets really nice. It’s a powerful experience, shitting. There’s something magical about it, profound even. I think God made humans shit in the way we do because it brings us back down to earth and gives us humility. I don’t care who you are, we all shit the same.
- Language, even more than color, defines who you are to people. I became a chameleon. My color didn’t change, but I could change your perception of my color. If you spoke Zulu, I replied to you in Zulu. If you spoke to me in Tswana, I replied to you in Tswana. Maybe I didn’t look like you, but if I spoke like you, I was you.
- A small hustle buying and delivering hot dogs let me keep lunch money and move seamlessly between groups. I had so many customers. I was turning kids away. I had a rule, I would take five orders a day, high bidders only. I’d make so much that I could buy my lunch using other kids money and keep the lunch money my mom gave me for pocket cash. Then I could afford to catch a bus home instead of walking or save up to buy whatever. Every day I would take orders, assembly would end, and I would make my mad dash and buy everybody’s hot dogs and cokes and muffins. If you paid me extra, you could even tell me where you’d be and I’d deliver it to you. I’d found my niche. Since I belonged to no group, I learned to move seamlessly between groups. I floated. I was a chameleon. Still, a cultural chameleon. I learned how to blend.
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